Feeling strangely emotional tonight as it dawns on me that I will never breastfeed a baby again, I’ll never get to see that beautiful content, relieved and sweet little ‘just got milk’ expression again as I feed and snuggle my baby.

Breastfeeding to me has been a wonderful, exhausting, amazing and frustrating experience. (I’ve written about our problems with tongue tie and breastfeeding support on here previously, let me know if you can’t find the post)

I’m so pleased that I’ve had the chance to breastfeed two babies and will always treasure the memories I have of this super special time.

I never thought I’d be breastfeeding Ruby this long (She’s nearly 18months) I’m feeling pretty proud of this now.

If I’m being completely honest I used to think it was a little bit wierd seeing small children running up to their mums and helping themselves to boob milk .. But fast forward to last week – Ruby runs up to me, pulls on my top,  smacks me on the boob and says ‘I want that one’ … Yep .. It’s amazing how my feelings have changed on this subject!

After a fantastic week on holiday (where boobing came in extremely useful, especially on the plane!) I decided it was time to try and stop breastfeeding Ruby.

I’d been slowly reaching a point where I felt I wanted my body (boobs) back and was starting to feel a bit irritated with the constant pulling on my tops and relentless demands from Ruby. When these feelings started I knew it would be a good time to try and stop.

So 8 days ago I just decided to stop. Ruby looked extremely puzzled when she came up to me asking for boob and my reply was ‘milks all gone’ – she didn’t really cry, she just looked confused.

I was dreading bed time as I had always got Ruby to sleep by breastfeeding.  She cried a tiny bit on night one but I just kept cuddling her and saying milk had all gone and she seemed to understand.  I popped her in her cot and after a little singing and face stroking – she went to sleep!

I’m actually over the moon with how easily Ruby now goes to sleep! It’s amazed me how quickly she adapted to the ‘no boob’ situation and she goes to sleep sometimes in just 5 minutes!

Ruby still wakes a few times in the night but all I have to do usually is say ‘mummy’s here, go to sleep’ and she does!

Ruby’s really good at signing most things (I’ll probably write a post about how awesome I think baby signing is!) she’s also saying quite a few things now too. If Ruby asks for a cuddle I’ll always give her one, no matter what time it is, how tired I am – if my baby wants a cuddle I won’t deny her. As I know soon enough, I’ll be the one pestering her to cuddle me (like I do with her big sister!)

Oh and for any mamas wondering about how my boobs coped – I just made sure I expressed the lumps away a few times a day to begin with and I think they are nearly finished making milk now.

Would love to hear about your experiences on this subject! Feel free to share xx