Rosie & Ruby love …

Recently I’ve been making small but significant changes in my life .. The main one being – leaving my phone alone more.

When my little Ruby said to me one day ‘No phone mummy’ as she tried to pass me something – it made my heart sink. I don’t want to be someone that ignores moments in the real world for random pointless scrolling through timelines in social media.

I don’t want my girls drawing me holding my mobile phone and I don’t want them to think my phone is more important to me than being present in the moment with them.

I think it’s really sad how many kids/adults you see staring at their phones everywhere they go, never really engaging with the real world and the people around them. Never looking up and just breathing in their surroundings, smiling at strangers and noticing the details and beauty around them.

What matters to me is my children, my husband, my friends, my family. Being present with them, looking in to their eyes, talking face to face, smiling, hugging, kissing, laughing, crying – sharing real emotions – not just emoticons 😁😳😂👌

I’m starting to get messages from friends worrying what’s wrong with me, as my vacantness on facebook is strange to them. The truth is I’m feeling happier and more connected with what’s important to me – enjoying the real world and all the things I treasure in it.

Don’t get me wrong – I do still use my phone and social media but mainly at the moment I use it to take photos and tweak them on Instagram. I’m not taking photos for anyone else’s appraisal, they are for me, as a visual diary of memories. (That’s why my Instagram is now set to private)

Facebook is a great and quick way for me to quickly catch up with friends and connect with people but I try not to linger and scroll and scroll and get absorbed like I used to. I did try quitting facecrack once before but this lasted an hilariously long 15 hours or so!!

Those of you who know me, know I’m a creative person, a photographer, an artist. I love seeing beauty in the things around me.  I’ve starting drawing again, writing stories for my girls and baking more.

Why do I write on this blog? .. I’m not entirely sure!  I write my posts usually early in the morning (between 5am & 6am) and like now – when I’m pinned to the sofa with a sleeping cubby on me.

I created this blog nearly two years ago when Ruby was born. It was somewhere I could ramble on and post photos, ideas and my food art pictures! Often writing in the middle of the night during the marathon boobing sessions!  I’m not blogging much at the moment but hopefully you’ll understand why now.

Have you tried being more present in the moment? Would love to hear your stories too.

Thanks for reading! X

Ok .. I promise to not be long .. But I need just a little moan this morning.

So today I am grumpy. Yep.. Mrs grump face. This mornings activities have been quite typical for me for a long time.

2am – large child wakes screaming that she’s not tired. I stumble to her room. Takes a while to get her to settle.

3am – small child wakes crying in her cot next to me – having a nightmare. I comfort her. Now Shhhhhh …

3.30am – hubby starts snoring loudly … I try and find ear plugs in the bedside draw .. Quietly.

4.20am – small child sits up and demands cuddles. She gets in bed with me, well on me actually with her head squished as tight as possible in to my throat. I can’t breath but she doesn’t mind. She’s happy.

4.30am – Small child starts kissing my arm and rolls off me on to the bed. But she doesn’t want me to touch her now – even though she’s falling off the bed.

4.35am – small child wants to climb back on me. She kisses me then bites me a bit.

4.50am – I think small child is asleep. Hubby definitely is – loudly.

5.10am – small child frets in her sleep about something she’s sharing with her sister. She now wants to sleep cuddling my arm. I’m not allowed to touch her though, or move, or breath.

5.20am – I hear large child whimpering .. Again

5.30am ‘Get uurrrp mama’ loud loud shouting – right in my ear.

I get up. I scrabble around for warm things. Carry small child in to the lounge. She demands juice. I get her one. She demands her rabbit program on the tv. I turn to on … It’s ‘too bright mama’. Cries a bit.

5.35am – I pop kettle on .. Need tea or I may just keel over.

5.37am – ‘fooood’ demands small child. I fetch food. And feed cats.

5.45am. Small child’s cold- I fetch blankets. She’s now hungry again .. I fetch more food.

I sit for 5 mins with tea – I’m happy.

5.50am – small child wants her sleeves rolling up. I roll them up. Now she’s got cold arms. She demands I make them warm … Omg.

6am – large child wakes up. I fetch her. She’s cold, she’s thirsty. She wants her socks, she needs food, she wants her program on. She wants to know ‘Is it morning?’

‘no it’s not’ I answer.

Then every 5 mins since then I’m getting more demands .. And more grumpy. It’s now 6.45am.

Is it bed time yet?